Maybe it’s cliche or maybe I’m being over emotional and melodramatic but it just really sucks always coming in as a close second behind someone else. The second dates that were never scheduled and the text messages that got fewer and more far between without warning. Hearing about how he got back together with his ex, or how he just didn’t think things would work out because I was too young, or how he finally got together with the girl he’d been crushing on forever but never thought he had a chance with. I’m always the safe go to when all else fails, and honestly, that is just such a shitty feeling and I can’t seem to shake it.
I guess what hurts the most is thinking you have the best friends in the world because you have such a fun time around them, but then when it comes down to when you really need a little compassion and support they have hardly anything to say. I can’t tell if I’m being over emotional and sensitive or if I really am justified, but either way I just wish I could rely on people who I consider my best friends. I just want people who care about me. And I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Life has just been too much for me to handle lately.
The thing is that I’m always the one there to help people, but what do I do when I need help.
It just sucks that I miss you and want to talk to you but you won’t even hold a conversation with me.